The following is a page written by my friend Court Funke circa 1995. I liked it so much that I saved it, and put it up here when he took his original home pages down.
Slightly more nuanced viewpoints exist.
NEWSFLASH: U2 SUCKS!
Before I begin, I have something to say. It seems that I have
been linked to some U2 fan page or something like it. I'm not sure
whether or not people know what they are getting into when they link to
this page but it seems that I have upset a few of them. This page has
been up for about two years and just last week I received the first of
many angry responses. I welcome all criticism and comments. I won't
respond to anyone who disagrees with me as it would just be a waste of
time since I've endlessly debated every point anyone could possibly make
with most of my friends already and I'm not going to change my mind.
But I will say this. Some of the responses I have gotten have been
rather rude. If you would like to see what I am talking about, click here. I will be posting anything I find to be
rude and obnoxious. Thank you for your time.
Ok posers. Listen up. U2 is the worst thing to happen to rock music
since disco. They are the most overrated group since The Beatles. Here
are some of the many reasons why.....
- They are derivative - This so called "constantly evolving band"
hasn't played an original note in years. Joshua Tree? Pretentious
musicians playing bloated music with overbearing messages and religious
metaphors? Can you say, "Pink Floyd?" Acthung Baby and Zooropa? Lot's
of computers and industrial noise? Sounds like NIN to me who were doing
it long before U2 tried it. Rattle and Hum? A blues album by a bunch
of whiny Irish guys? I don't think so. Bringing B.B. King doesn't lend
them the credibility they need to pull this one off. You'd have to
resurect Robert Johnson in order to get me to even consider listening to
The Edge try his feeble hands at the blues. While all these albums may
be the first time any U2 fans have heard this type of music, it was
certainly being produced long before Bono pulled his head out of his ass
to discover it.
- They're pretentious - If you want to give me a message, just say
it. Otherwise, let's let music be music and not some crappy politcal
statement of the month. If I want politics I'll pick up a newspaper,
when I want music I buy an album. Music first, message second guys.
Think about it.
- The Village People weren't cool in the seventies. They weren't
even cool when they started to make a comeback a couple years ago. They
certainly aren't cool now.
- and because I can't tell whether they're serious or not... Jokes
about the Village People were not funny in the seventies. Jokes about
the Village People were not funny a couple of years ago. They certainly
aren't funny now.
- They just plain suck - Bono can't sing. The Edge can't play. The
rhythm section can't hold a candle to Double Trouble or any other
halfway decent rock band. How they got to be so damn popular is beyond
- According to On Ramp's Cybe Sleaze gossip column, here's what
Goerge Harrison thinks of them...
GEORGE HARRISON has labeled OASIS, the pretenders to THE BEATLES'
throne, egotistical "rubbish." And he's no fan of the SPICE GIRLS
either, claiming, "The
good thing about them is that you can look at them with the sound
turned down." Harrison,
54, made his comments in an interview with French newspaper LE
FIGARO, to promote
new album CHANTS OF INDIA by his pal RAVI SHANKAR. Asked whether he
groups such as Oasis, U2 and TEXAS, Harrison snorts, "Rubbish! They
interesting. It's OK if you're 14 years old. I prefer to listen to
BOB DYLAN." He adds, "You
know what irritates me about modern music, it's all based on ego.
Look at a group like U2.
BONO and his band are so egocentric... The more you jump around,
the bigger your hat is,
the more people listen to your music... The only important thing is
to sell, and make money.
It's nothing to do with talent." The Beatles, he claims "had a
value which will last forever."
Harrison explains, "Today there are groups who sell a lot of
records and then disappear
immediately. Will we remember U2 in 30 years? Or the Spice Girls? I
doubt it." But he's
quick to admit he would be cashing in on the foxy fivesome's
success if he were a young man.
Harrison says, "I would certainly produce the Spice Girls. If I
knew at 20 what I know now,
it would be fabulous. I would certainly retire before becoming
I got this little tidbit off of Metaverse's Cyber Sleaze page.
IS U2 DOWN WITH THE UNDERGROUND??: Two top disc jockeys have been
barred from U2's Irish nightclub THE KITCHEN - for refusing to play
a request by the
group's supermodel pal NAOMI CAMPBELL. The incident happened at a
party in the club
following the supergroup's second homecoming gig in Dublin last
month. Campbell - who was
once engaged to U2's bass player ADAM CLAYTON - sent a copy of the
CD over to DJ AIDAN KELLY, who refused to play it. Kelly says, "The
didn't fit in with what I was playing, so I said no. I was booked
to play a funky house set at
the Kitchen's independently-promoted Sunday night dance club."
Kelly claims he was then
removed from the DJ booth and told never to return to the club
again. He says that his partner
on the decks BRIAN CHAMBERLAIN then left in protest after the leggy
model asked him
to play the CD. On the way out, he too was told never to return.
Over 200 of the club's
regulars were left bemused as The Kitchen stayed in total silence
until a member of staff
entered the booth and played Campbell's CD for her. One regular
says, "U2 showed more
respect for a rich and famous friend, proving their claim to be in
touch with the dance world is
a complete sham." However, nightclub manager RICHARD MOONEY insists
Kelly left of
his own accord.
The hate mail was mildly amusing for a while, but lately it's begining
to bore me. This is probably because it's all the same and it's all
wrong. You people are reading this page and making some pretty broad
generalizations about me. So before you click on my nifty swirling
e-mail thing, let me respond to a few of your comments before you make
1) "Why do you put so much time and energy into a page about something
you hate?" I don't. You may not have noticed, but this page is not
very fancy. The original version, which was just a little bit shorter
and not as colorful, took me about 10 minutes to make. I didn't touch
it for 2 years until someone discovered it and all of a sudden I found
my mailbox flooded with hate mail fan letters.
2) I'm a Nine Inch Nails fan. I'm not. I don't know why
everyone thinks that. It's the farthest thing from the truth. I do
accuse U2 of aping a style of music pioneered by groups like Nine Inch
Nails but I never express any sort of afinity for them. Some of you are
reading way to much into my comments.
3) I don't like The Beatles but I use a quote from George Harrison.
Wrong again. I said The Beatles were overrated. I didn't say that
I don't like them. I think they're great, but I don't agree with the
way a lot of people cannonize them.
4) If they are so bad then why do legends like B.B. King and Frank
Sinatra record with them?" One reason: $$$$$$$$