One night, Blood was violently aroused from post surgical coma (His
cerebellum had just been removed):
"Captain, I'm getting a weird message. The neutrino radar is
saturated. Something's closing in on us!", exclaimed the
bio-consciousness.
"Glasp. Garks. Wha...", answered Blood. He was having trouble getting
words out. His tongue felt swollen and his 100% teflon skull hurt
horribly.
He managed to add, "Standard procedure, whatever that is."
"Aye aye, Captain", replied the bio-consciousness, somewhat dubiously.
Blood suddenly sat up.
"What? Why didn't you wake me up, dummy? Activate magnetic shield,
stop everything, switch on the radar screen."
The screen glittered, then filled with radar echo. Not far from Ark, a
vaguely oval object was speeding. Fast.
At that instant, an alarm sounded and a message came up on the screen,
printed in Universal Protocol/Communication: UPCOM
(1).
"SOS AM IN DISTRESS SOS GL GL HOC..."
"Wow! Who the blazing Darwins are you?", rasped Blood.
"I FEMALE OORXX SOS FAST..."
"Boy, what a zappy dream I'm having", chuckled Blood.
"WELL WHERE'S THE HELP...", the OORXX's message said on the UPCOM.
"Sure, sure. Let's not get hysterical", retorted Blood, just a little
irritated, "She's in a hurry as well. What do we do now, Honk?"
The bio-consciousness thought for a moment.
"The regulations are pretty strict on this. Ever since the NOSTROMO
affair, it's forbidden to teleport strangers on board, Captain, unless
they're in temporary cryogenic death status. I suggest teleporting her
to the FRIDGITORIUM. She must, however, be willing. Otherwise the
teleport won't work, as you know, Captain."
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I tumbled the old Ripley dame before she got
command of the old folk's home on Proxima. She told me about it",
explained Blood, typing in the following message on the UPCOM
keyboard:
"Okay, we'll teleport you."
Days went by. Honk happily analyzed, studied and dissected the OORXX.
One day...
"Captain, hey, it's completely major, Cap, wow!" Honk seemed rather
excited.
"What? Calm down, kid, and don't call me cap. Now, what gives?" Blood
wasn't in one of his better moods. The day before, Honk had fixed him
up with bionylon skin (hi temperature no-shrink wash. Drip dry), and
they'd been testing the hi temperature wash feature.
"If we modify, just a teeny weeny bit, the OORXX's genes, we can
control the eggs and put together some really zappy biomissiles, with
all space fish characteristics and amazing firepower as well. We could
easily train the OORXX babies to go on suicide missions for you! You'd
radio control them. You'd see through their eyes. Think of it. You
could visit every planet in the galaxy without leaving the conapt.
It's completely major!" Honk shut up for a moment, waiting for his
master's verdict.
"You are DISGUSTING!", exploded Blood, "You are INHUMAN!"
"But, master, they're only OORXX!", protested the bio-consciousness.
"Yeah, well, that's true", admitted Blood, pinching his silicon
earlobe, "They are only OORXX. And they are officially extinct. And
I'd be right here in my padded armchair, wouldn't I? Okay, let's give
it a try!"
And so Honk reactivated the OORXX layer, and the first second
generation OORXX babies were born.
(1)UPCOM. Universal Protocol/Communication. A system conceived by
Honk, in response to the difficulty of talking with people who use
unfamiliar languages. Honk's system translates simultaneously, using
icons to signify words or ideas. UPCOM is able to detect those signs
that are understood by the being you're talking with. This allows a
speedy evaluation of the being's personality. If its vocabulary
contains only icons symbolizing food and drink, it's pretty easy to
figure out the being's intellectual level.
